A Still, Small Voice...

St. Therese and the Holy Family (one of my favorite paintings) 

Hello everyone,

Last evening I went to pay Jesus a visit at the chapel.   I have really been wondering just exactly what crazy plan God has for me.  I'm kind of trying to give Him the little *nudge nudge*  *elbow elbow* in the direction of an actress, if you take my meaning.  I've been praying recently, "God, Your will be done, and could you please highly consider my plans? NOW?!"

When I talk to people I expect a definite answer to my questions and queries.  With God, I expect the same.  I think of the Saints who had conversations with Him such as St. Margret Mary or St. Faustina.  They asked him their questions, and in His voice, He answered.  Sometimes I wish He would answer me like that, to hear His mighty, powerful voice answer me definitely, "Yes." or "No."  I am trying to remind myself all of the time, "He has an answer, He knows what He's doing."
 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you." 
(Jeremiah 1:5)

I was also reading The Spirit of Carmel publication of the Carmelite Sisters of the Most sacred Heart of Los Angeles.  There is a two page story written by Sr. Gloria Therese, O.C.D who is celebrating her Silver Jubilee.  She writes, "I had told Him, "God you are the center of my life."  In the same breath, I was in essence saying, "these are my plans and You can fulfill them for me."" (Spirit of Carmel Spring 2015 Pg. 35)  This reminded me that I have told Jesus I hand my life over to Him, but every day I'm constantly thinking about what I'm going to be and what I'm going to do with my life.

The other day, my mom and I were talking in the car about letting Jesus guide the future of my teeth.  I have 10 adult teeth missing that never formed under my baby teeth.  She is praying that my wisdom teeth would form so I would have 4 extra teeth.  But we reminded ourselves that we want what God wants but that doesn't mean saying, "Please give me extra teeth!"  it means saying, "Show us what you want for me."

Again on Wednesday,  I was really thinking about my future.   Does He want me to be a sister? a mom? an actress spreading His word?  What?!  I can't stand the suspense!  So here's where we get to the part about the title of this blog post and to adoration.  I was praying, "God, do what you want with me.  I only want what You want."  He says, "Don't worry."  but it isn't with a voice, it's just that stillness.  He has also given me a greater longing to be closer to Him sharing him with as many people as possible.  We'll see which way He does that with me.

So, you're probably wondering what the point of this blog post was.  (If you made it this far...)  I wanted to encourage you (and myself) that God has His plan for me, but remember, He won't come in with fire and brimstone, He has a still, small voice.

I had wanted to share the song by the Carmelite Sisters that helps me remember this, but I can't seem to find it in a shareable format.  Oh well...

Anyway, I hope you have gained something from my short ramblings of faith.  May God bless you through your spiritual journey to adulthood and may He guide you to your vocation. :)  I'll be praying for you and I hope you'll pray for me!

Thank you!