Discussing Modesty With Others

Hello Ladies and Gents,

And yes, I say gents too because this topic is for all of us!

I was talking with a friend about modesty and talking to others about it.  I know it's so easy to talk about it with friends and acquaintances who share our view, but how do we share our ideas and beliefs with others?  We pin on Pinterest, and post our outfits on social media, but what happens when it is brought up in conversation?

Let's consider a few situations.  When someone asks you about it...  When someone challenges you... Or when you feel the need to tell someone about modesty...

First of all, I believe honesty to be the best policy.  When asked, challenged, or compelled, we need to speak from the heart.  It shouldn't be severe or harsh, but if someone asks, we need to give them our honest answer.  

"He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest. He is a shield to those who walk with integrity." ~Proverbs 2:7

I always love taking a moment or two to converse with someone about modesty when asked.  We must also however listen to their questions and concerns with an open mind.  They may not have had the experiences you've had.  We must use patience and prudence.   I used the word conversation because I'm not just the one talking, but I want the other person's questions and comments!

Express what you believe to be right.

 Modesty reveals a woman's inner beauty for the world to see, while preserving her body for her husband in the holy sacrament of Marriage. (~Pinterest)

Alrighty, now when we're challenged we again have to be honest.  Respect is also very important.  Tell them what modesty means to you calmly and respectfully.  We cannot change anyone's heart ourselves; all we can do is plant the seed and let God do the rest.  He can do amazing things when we leave the choice to Him.  Listening is still key in this one.  If we truly listen to their feedback, we can formulate our answers to maybe help them get a better picture.

We are all in this battle for our souls together, boys and girls!  It's not only the girls' job to dress modestly so as not to tempt guys, and it's not only the guys' job to guard their eyes and their hearts from immodest clothing and behavior.  It is the responsibility of both boys and girls to guard their eyes, hearts, and conscience, and to dress modestly and respectfully so we can help each other try to keep our thought pure. 

"But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh in its concupiscences." ~Romans 13:14

Ok, so when do you need to tell someone about modesty?  Of course you're not going to walk up to some random person in the grocery store and say,"Your clothing is totally immodest!"  Telling someone can be acceptable, though, if you really know them or spend a lot of time with them.  We all need to help each other and keep each other accountable.  Just like when someone bothers you with what they say or do to you, we should make our feelings known when someone might be putting us and/or themselves in a near occasion of sin.  We should never, ever use harsh or condemning language.  Rather, if we feel compelled by the Holy Spirit to speak up, first, we should go to Jesus in prayer.  He knows all hearts and loves each person for who they are and can be in Him.  We must pray for the person so that their eyes and heart may be opened to God's grace in their life.  We should pray too, for what we are to say.  Then, it would be good to talk to an adult.  Go to your parents or spiritual director.  Every case and person is different so I can't really tell you what and how to say something, but pray to Jesus that He will show you His will in this.  If the person is leading you to serious sin it might be better to remove yourself from this situation.  I am not in any way saying to judge, shun, or ignore someone, but we must guard our souls and then pray for them.  Prayers are the most powerful thing.

And finally, modesty is not only how we dress, but how we speak and act as well.  We must be good examples in all we do, allowing the love of Christ to reach every aspect of our lives. 

"Let no man despise thy youth: but be thou an example of the faithful in word, in conversation, in charity, in faith, in chastity." ~ 1 Timothy 4:12

Know that we must let ourselves be changed before we can change others, and even still we will never change them, only God can.  We only have to be the example and pray.

May God bless you and keep you,

Sarah